“HOW you do things is just as important as WHAT you do.”
As I am teaching my daughter to drive, there are moments (few and far between, of course) where I get a little “intense” with her because of a mistake or something important she has missed (driving into oncoming traffic for example). While I am not MAD at her, my intensity still has a tendency to hurt her feelings.
While I want her to learn how to drive safely, I also want both of us to like each other when we get out of the car at the end of the day.
I am passing on the skills of operating a motor vehicle AND listening to her feelings at the same time. If I forget this, then she will probably use her new found driving ability to get away from me as fast as possible.
Giving the gift of validation—listening to another person’s feelings—is probably much more important than learning how to drive. Having my daughter know that her heart is important to me in the day-to-day things and that her opinion matters will create a level of self-confidence in her that will be very difficult to shake later on.
And I want my daughter to be self-confident.
After all, self-confident people become very good drivers.
In This Episode
- Learning to drive & freaking out
- Why “You shouldn’t feel that way” doesn’t work
- Making learning a good experience
- My emotions setting the tone for the family
- Girls and wanting to take care of others
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